Reply to How common is it for young adults to receive life changing amounts of money from family?

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[quote=Anonymous]This is an interesting thread. DH and I both grew up UC and did not have to worry about paying for college, grad school or our wedding - which we know is very fortunate. That said, both of our families had plenty of money but made it clear we were on our own after college (despite paying for grad school).   We also didn’t live extravagant lives growing up - nice houses but not mansions, nice vacations but not over the top, etc. We met in NYC where we both moved after college and struggled to pay rent in such an expensive city like many, when we got married had to save up our own down payment and neither of our families was willing to help, or even give us a loan for renovations, etc. I think it definitely pushed us to make our own success and have a desire to work hard so we could have a nice life. We are mid 40s now with a HHI of $800K so doing very well.

It’s interesting though because most of our friends’ parents heavily supplemented their incomes in their 20s, paying their rent and for vacations or other extras. Almost all had significant help buying their first homes, with their children’s private school tuitions and more. DH and I definitely had moments of resentment that our parents would not do the same.

However, DH’s dad just passed away and we inherited around $5 million. We honestly had no clue that was coming (and there will be more assets when his mom passes eventually) but it’s funny because we really could have used a little of that money in our 20s and 30s to take the edge off. At this point we already have strong savings, well funded 529s for our kids’ educations, good retirement savings/plans, etc.

We decided to split the money into trusts for our two kids and have been trying to find a way to give them access to it in their 20s after graduating college, but stipulating what it can and can’t be used for. But it’s a fine line because we always want them to be accountable for paying enough of their own way so they aren’t just living off a trust and unmotivated.[/quote]

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