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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. You are misreading the post. I am not freaking out. DS is. I am just trying to figure out how to explain things to him in a way that is as accurate as possible. I don’t know if connections help the way the used to. I know this is the way of the world.

Yes it is mainly that his best friend spilled this after the process. They’d talked about how fun it would be to go to the same school, etc. all along and then my DA felt sort of blindsided. I explained he was under no obligation to say anything and he said he wished he didn’t know.

Keep in mind as others have said he is a teenager and their brains fire up in different ways.

My first response was to be proud for working hard and getting good grades and SAT score and focus only on himself. That he in the end will have greater confidence in himself.

But he is still upset and feels like he was “played.” He said he wouldn’t have applied to so many of the same schools if he’d known. We talked about how he needs to focus on the future.

My question was about how much those connections really work these days and if I can honestly tell my kids, “things have changed and those connections don’t help as much as they did pre-Varsity Blues” vs “sorry, kiddo.” [/quote]

You can't make any predictions. Each school is different, and it sounds like you have a rather vague (and perhaps grandiose) understanding of the connections that were exercised.

If he is upset about how his friend handled it, you can discuss his feelings and whether this development changes his opinion of his friend. But that is really between them (though of course you can support your child if he is upset).

I would stay out of the business of trying to reassure him that this does or does not matter in 2022. He is one of many kids waiting to hear back, and he will cope with the news he gets and make the best choice from among his options. [/quote]

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