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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do a lot of research about (domestic) open adoptions. Realize the life-long implications of having the birth parent(s) and their extended families involved in your child's life, and if that is something you are willing to take on. [/quote]

We only want to do closed adoption.

Is it only possibly trough international adoption?[/quote]

Closed adoption doesn't mean the child won't need to know they are adopted and it won't shield them from being adopted or feeling different.

Most international adoptions are considered closed but not really as you can hire someone in country to find the birth parents.

Domestic adoption  - if you are offered a closed adoption scenario which is very rare these days I would think long and hard about it and assume there is some issue with one or both of the birth parents.

If you want to adopt an infant or young toddler, than international adoption is not for you.

Poke around social media for adult adoptee accounts to get a better idea of the lifelong issues some adoptees faces. You can be wonderful, loving, caring and perfect and still your child could end up resenting the fact they are adopted.  So just know that going in.

It's much better to have some connection with the birth family. (I say this as an adoptive parent btw)

Don't adopt a bi-racial child because they won't really be Black.  Agencies often say this and it's easy to get caught up and believe it. They will really be viewed by society as Black.

Lastly, it's ok to decide that you don't want to adopt.  It isn't a cure for infertility and some people simply can't truly accept adoption over a biological child or one they birth.

If you can carry a child, you could consider other methods - egg donor, sperm donor, or embryo adoption. These might be a better fit.

[/quote]

It is a "cure" for being a childless couple. Isn't that the "problem" that most people want to use their fertility for?

I have never understood people who would rather have NO child, than a child with different DNA inside their cells. But if you have that issue, then please do not adopt.

(PS-I know MANY families who have kids through both adoption AND birth. NONE of them feel less love or connection to the children who were adopted. That is a myth that parents who only have biological children project. But it is not how it works)[/quote]

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