Reply to Red Flags- Children’s SO

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[quote=Anonymous]There would need to be some signs of clear manipulation and/or abuse.  Emotional abuse counts.

No one wants to break up with someone because their mommy doesn't like that person.  So how you voice your concern is really important.  Asking questions about future plans, how XYZ that your child cares about figures into that plan, how money is being used in the relationship etc.  You want to help your kid see the person is a mess without you coming out and saying "this person is a mess".

My sister went Ivy league and dated a high school drop out for awhile.  My mom embraced this man with open arms despite HUGE RED FLAGS all over.  But she also asked about his future, his plans for a GED and community college, his employment hopes etc.  All in a kind way.  She let my sister see a path towards this relationship working.  But guess what?!  The dude was a dud and my incredibly smart sister did see that all on her own.  My mom helped guide her there without criticizing this guy.  It was a masterclass in how to handle it really.[/quote]

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