Reply to Red Flags- Children’s SO

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if SO is fine but comes from a family filled with drugs,debt, drama or other problems. Family problems are bound to engulf or at least effect SO and by association your child.[/quote]

Would you care to elaborate, in a more mature and nuanced way, what you mean by “drama”? Are you a “Real Housewife of Potomac”?[/quote]

It sounds very clear unless reader is trying to be obtuse because it’s hitting a nerve. [/quote]

Would you consider student debt to be "drama"?
Would you consider anxiety or depression to be "drama"?
How about severe allergies or [b]chronic illness?[/b]
How about being a different religion?
Keeping kosher or other religious practices that might be "dramatic" for hosting/visiting/holidays?
Being from another country and having parents living overseas--is that "drama"?
Being a recovering alcoholic or drug addict--someone who has been clean for a decade--is that "drama"?
Having a parent who has a tough illness or mental illness?

Is anything "drama" that makes life a little messy, a little uncomfortable, a little complex at times? Just wondering.[/quote]

I think you're putting words in the other poster's mouth.  But you need to consider that some things ARE indeed worthy of consideration.

A close friend of ours married a woman who was diagnosed with a long-term, degenerative illness that was diagnosed about 2 weeks before their wedding.  While he loved the woman, his life was incredibly difficult and I know he wished he had taken some time at the front-end and pushed back the wedding date.  It would have helped him decide if he could handle the marriage for the long course AND he would have been better able to get a support system set up if that had been his choice.  Instead he felt pressured by the fact that the wedding was planned, all that money spent, and that he would look like a lout if he said "wait a second, let's think this out."  I'm not saying people with chronic or long-term degenerative illnesses shouldn't marry but I am saying that people really need to think it through.  That isn't drama, that's common sense.

The same argument can be made for recovering addicts or people with mental illness.  Proceed with caution.  Know what you're getting into, know how much you can handle, and how much you can take.  Love, while wonderful, doesn't conquer all when it is 3 am and you're dealing with an alcoholic on the verge of relapse.[/quote]

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