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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They may be aware but since you are acting like everything is normal they follow in your lead or they may be clueless on what's happening especially if your dh doesn't tell them.

From a mil perspective when my dd and her partner were having issues we didn't get involved until we had to and sat down and talked to both of them. We tried to go on like usually especially with our sil since he didn't like to open up to us about the issues until we mentioned it.

If you don't want to pretend then don't and just be polite to your inlaws and mention that at this moment you and dh are not in a good place and you need some space from hosting them. Just keep in mind that it's not there fault and they are trying to probably keep the peace and stability between you and them.[/quote]

This is good advice. Spouse and I have had marital difficulties on and off through the years and during those periods I find it extremely stressful to interact as a couple/family with most anyone, not just in laws. For example, attending a holiday dinner at my sibling’s house. It is very hard to act like everything is “normal” but on the other hand I don’t think it is appropriate to bring others into one’s internal couple dynamic. I am sorry, Op. I would avoid seeing the ILs as much as possible during this tough time. I also second the advice you have gotten for you and spouse to see a therapist because the issue is the state of your marriage, not your ILs. [/quote]

Same here, in fact my Husband would love it when his parents flew over 6 hours and stayed 3 weeks because he’d automatically think that would mean two things: 1) we never needed to talk about anything since there were guests in the house, and 2) he could work more and longer since there was more “help” in the house. Bunch of weirdos. miL would make everyone wait until 7 or 8pm for sonny boy to get home. When the kids were little I told her forget it and ate with the two of them at 6pm.[/quote]

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