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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Grow up. My ex h is in his 22nd year of reserves. I was the primary parent (still am). He was not going to do anything with kids when little especially. It had hardly any impact. I have always worked full time. There are 2 kids.

You are being silly: it is not like being a surgeon on call all the time. [b]Many women do the bulk of parenting. If you expect otherwise, you should not have kids…it will be too much for you[/b]. [/quote]

This is such terrible awful advice.   I don't think OP  should try to talk her H out of being out of the reserves, but to act like men are just lazy half-assed parents like you ex across the board and women should just accept this is just wrong.[/quote]

+1 for my generation men are expected to contribute 50% and most do. This isn’t 1950s anymore. Maybe increase your expectations?[/quote]

I am early 40s. Most women my age, and my cousins 8 years younger have the same experience. Men did nothing until elementary school. I solved my problem by getting a divorce. My youngest is 7. Divorce is what made him lift a finger. My friends who expected men to actually do half the work are miserable in their marriages. Some men will do 50/50 with kids and the house, but most will not and that is reality. [/quote]

Agree. Even seen this with my divorced coworkers. They never tried to be there for their kids after school, at games, summer or even when physically vacations (they’d work and email a lot). Then they had to do 50/50 and half gave up and went to 80-90% and the other half finally started being a coparent. 
The ones with older kids or teens didn’t do much tho, unclear why someone said they are more involved after elementary school, they didn’t change.[/quote]

You married bums. All there is to it.[/quote]\

No, you got lucky. Most women do the lionshare of parenting...even when they work full time. There are literally hundreds of articles currently about this. The fact that you don't understand this means you got lucky and you are an anomaly. [/quote]

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