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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your first paragraph sums it up. This was a disaster in the making before you even left home for the trip. Add the pressure of the holidays and you had a time bomb waiting for you.

Just blow it off, wait a few days/weeks/ months and resume. I would not bring it up again, but I would also learn a lesson from this. Your family sounds intense and demanding. People like that are best tolerated in small doses. When someone suggests the idea of a group vacation, keep this in mind.[/quote]

This above times a thousand!

This is why my BIL (police officer) takes off xmàs now- he says that’s when domestic violence and family relations fights peak. That’s the extreme- but we all put a whole lot of pressure on getting everyone together even when nothing could be farther than the best thing.  This house was chaos before you got there- easy to say now, but yes you should have tactfully said “ mom we love coming and have been so excited to see you, but with all going on there, we want to ease the pressure on you and dad and visit MLK weekend instead”- or this year you could use the airline canceled our flights.
   Xmas with random adults and kids stuffed together is just tough and someone usually ends up upset.  We have experienced this so many times- but a more recent experience- we spend thanksgiving wed-Sunday with my best friend and her family- have for 10 years. But over last few years she has had other people staying there and this last visit we were relegated to her teen sons dirty bedroom. Plus her husband literally went into his man cave each day we were there. We got the message- lives are too busy now- next year we’ll go but get hotel and leave Friday morning.
    
   I don’t know what all was said snd how your mom and dad and you and your family handle being hurt or angry- but I’m sure all were a bit in the wrong- I recommend you write email or letter stating how things got out of hand snd just too many in small space at high stress time.  U can’t put the genie back in the bottle, but families should be forgiving. 
    Make peace- you don’t want to have your family in turmoil- as we have all learned this last year and half, we never know when we won’t have them!
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