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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP asked if anyone regretted marrying someone with kids. Then lots of people post that they would never marry someone with kids. So these people haven’t even married someone with kids and couldn’t regret a decision they never made before. I take their advice for what it’s worth.

DH married me with 3 kids. He tells me he would do it all over again. Having kids is hard for anyone - parent or step-parent. It is way easier with a loving and supportive parent than with a parent that you’re constantly fighting with. My oldest kid is a teen and very easy. Great grades, varsity athlete, has a job, helps at home. He lives in a stable environment with parents who love him.

Of course things can go bad, but that can happen in any family. My parents never divorced and still live miserably together. They constantly fight. I wish they would’ve separated, but it’s their choice. I’m a grown adult and would never expect them to make life choices for me.

Not every step-parent hates their step-children and vice versa. DH and the kids get along great. [/quote]

I have a similar experience to report, only I had two kids and then we had a third together; the older two are now young adults, so the teenage years are over.   Someone above linked a different thread on stepparenting where there were lots of unhappy campers.  It seems that the most disappointment comes from the women who married divorced dads and can't stop mentally calculating how much better they would have been if they met the guy before he had children.  Now that meal ticket has to be split in 3 or 4.   That's a very specific mindset and doesn't apply to all.  [/quote]

This seems to be the case in my circle as well- and is for me. My ex's new wife had no clue what child support obligations (plus his share of travel costs and the gifts he personally wants to buy them) would look like. I think this was exacerbated by the fact that she was young, so didn't know many people with kids, and seems it has been a struggle for them since their own child came along. On the other hand, my DH has his own grown kids and is happy having mine around more or less full time. I am really appreciative of the amount he pitches in because, to some degree, it is all feels like "extra" since they aren't "his" and I was on my own for years before. So another factor may be that moms with kids appreciate second DH's efforts more (however that compares with the kids' bio dad). [/quote]

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