Reply to DNA/genealogy testing - could one day implicate your kids in a crime

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does your friend think that she is such a bad parent that she is raising criminals?[/quote]

Do you seriously think no criminals come from good parents?  Good parents produce drug addicts. Drug addicts commit crimes. It’s part of the disease of needing money for drugs but frequently not having any. [/quote]

Mmmmm...drug addicts are created by nurture much more than nature.  Think about the behavior chain.  That didn't spontaneously happen.  It was nurtured from the moment of birth.[/quote]

I have two cousins who are drug addicts. They were adopted as infants. At least one of their parents was an addict. Their adoptive parents raised them well, taught them how to behave, etc. They experimented with drugs in high school and that was it. Their sibling was not adopted and also experimented. She is not an addict and went to graduate from college. Nature is what got them hooked.[/quote]

I am sorry but the research doesn't support any of what you're saying.  I appreciate that you're trying to "protect" your aunt/uncle but you need to recognize that those kids ended up experimenting with drugs because their parents were not providing the right support and structure in their household.  They also weren't monitoring the kids very well.  The sibling who was not adopted (raised by another family or her birth family?) got what she needed so she stayed on the right path.  If your cousins had gotten what they needed they, too, would not be drug addicts today.  [/quote]

Says the mother of toddlers.[/quote]

No.  I work with high risk teens.  I am fully familiar with the research, and I work with kids every single day who have addictions or who engage in high risk behaviors.

Children engaging in high-risk behaviors were not born that way; they were made that way.  Their parents all love them (well, most of their parents) but their parents raised the children they thought they had, not the children they had.  When we remove the high-risk children from their environment and retrain them we see positive change, when the children return to the home environment we see a reversion to the high risk behaviors.  The only time there is a successful return is if we have been successful in getting the parents to change their behaviors so that they parent the child they have, not the child they wanted or thought they had.  This success happens very, very infrequently because it is very hard to get the parents to change their parenting behaviors for the better.

Again, this is all very well documented.  It isn't the child's fault.  The poster blaming DNA for the adopted cousins problems is wrong.[/quote]

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