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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, this is funny. I have a lot of experience with this, OP, so maybe I can help.

I was born Sandra Fern Smith (not really). My mother's name is also Sandra, so they literally always planned to call me by my middle name-- it's a Southern thing, I'm the oldest. I am Fern. Literally no one who knows me for more than 5 minutes calls me Sandra-- except doctors I know I'll see infrequently and don't bother to correct. It's a little annoying but totally fine. Never ever wanted to go by Sandra, no teacher forced it on me, thankfully. Funny when someone who only has my official name tries to call me "Sandy" or something, though. Like... you're giving me a nickname for a name I don't even use. The overfamiliarity is just so egregious it's funny.

Since Fern doesn't usually lend itself to nicknames (my real name even less so than Fern), just... everyone has always called me simply Fern and always will. I love my mom, though, and would never change my first name. I usually sign things S. Fern Smith.

DH is Filipino. Almost all Filipinos have a pre-assigned nickname and much of the time, with family, you don't even know, or at least never use, their official government name. The funny thing is that he was named after a great-grandfather, and so was given that great-grandfather's first name AND inherited his nickname, which, unlike most Filipino nicknames, is not an obvious nickname. It's just a whole 'nother name. Nice and confusing lol.

As with mine, the name he goes by doesn't lend itself to too many nicknames, especially to non-Filipinos. His name is like Manuel Jose Mendoza Garcia but he goes by Miguel. Occasionally car salesman or w/e will call him "Manny" and it totally doesn't register lol. Even his work email is always MiguelGarcia@BigCorp.com Most people don't even know Miguel has nothing to do with his official name. When he posted his father's obituary to Facebook, some of the people who didn't know him as well only recognized the last name and asked how he was related (because it mentioned him as a son, but said "Manuel Jose Mendoza Garcia," not Miguel.

Good times!

So of course, we gave our kid a name with a pre-determined nickname, and it's great. She's only in ES, so maybe things will change. But it works out because her first name is very very ethnically specific. It's not unpronounceable IMO, but non-Filipinos don't usually get it right. Her nickname is pronounced correctly 100% of the time and is another nickname that sounds like/is a given name for some people.

AND her given name is not something even Filipinos would have a traditional nickname for, because it's the name of a city. (This is so specific. If anyone knows me at all, they now know I read DCUM. Hi, friends!) Anyway, it's been given as a name EVER in the Philippines, but it's rare there, too.

So no one is going to start calling her her given first name more than occasionally, and those people are family or at least other Filipinos. It's much harder than her nickname and doesn't lend itself to any other "easier" variation. And yet, she loves her first name, at least for now.

That was a lot of TL;DRing, but bottom line:

DH and I both come from cultures with pre-assigned nicknames, and we had pre-assigned nicknames that stuck, even though explaining them is occasionally a hassle. We also honor our given names and would never change them. We did the same for our kid. Our nicknames/alternate names don't lend themselves to their own nicknames. And none of our given names is easier or simpler than our given names, so that might be another reason this has all worked out.

I'd say the only differences with the kid are that her nickname is [i]sort of[/i] a shortened version of her given name, and that we (and a few others) actually do sometimes call her her given name affectionately. [/quote]

Okay, I just have to say my made-up name for my husband sucked. I said his first name was Manuel but he went by Miguel. That's terrible lol. His real names aren't that close. More like his first name is Manuel and his nickname, the name everyone knows him by, is Pedro. Or something. You get the gist.[/quote]

I’m OP. This *is* funny because I am half Filipino. My mom goes by her nickname which has no relation at all to her legal name. [/quote]

Haha-- well, then, you know!

I assume you have at least 3 of the following aunties/uncles/cousins:

-Baby
-Boy
-Peachy/Cherry
-Princess/Prince/King/Queen (probably given names)
-Maria something, goes by the middle name or a nickname for the middle name
-Maria something, goes by Mari-shortened middle name (e.g., Maria Teresa = Maritess)
-Someone who goes by the acronym of their initials (M.A.A.B. called "Mab"), or just initials
-Someone who goes by the last part of their given name with a "ng" at the end
-Someone with a completely different name that comes from pop culture events at the time
-Someone with a doubled-up nickname-- Bong-Bong, Jing-Jing
-Filipino equivalent of Trip/Tre/Junior
-Nickname that riffs on the parent's nickname, as a component part of the nickname, especially if they have the same given names. Hard to describe, but mom's nickname is Cookie, so daughter's nickname is Chippy and they are both actually named Rosana.

You'll be fine, OP. Do it! Name your kid and call your kid whatever. It's worked for Filipinos (and a lot of other people) for hundreds of years. [/quote]

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