Reply to When one sibling lives in parents' house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the sibling likely does not fully understand your husbands illness and is feeling hurt and rejected.  Especially  since it’s you, not your DH, making the plans.

Even though it makes logical sense, I can see why the sibling feels hurt that you and your kids get to be unmasked and normal with their parents.  And they and thier kids get an outside drop by visit.  Why not have everyone test and then all get together?  Your DH can stay in your room if he gets overwhelmed.  [/quote]

So, my kids don't get to spend Christmas with their own father?  My DH doesn't celebrate Christmas? [/quote]

No, you can celebrate together, but you don’t break up other peoples traditions when you are staying in someone else’s house. You need to find something that works for your family that doesn’t require others to change their traditions for you. [/quote]

I don't know, I think people have to be flexible and realize that traditions have to morph and change. What if OP's family also had a tradition of all cousins waking up together on Xmas morning? Clearly the kids can't be with two sets of cousins/grandparents at once. Something has to give and it should not be OP's DH's health. I think her family should make it clear that if others sleep over, her family will go to a hotel. And then see what happens. Either way OP will be prioritizing her family's well being. it won't be good for her kids if her DH gets worse due to trying to maintain an Xmas tradition.[/quote]

By taking this position  OP’s family is putting the grandparents (who actually own the house!) in an incredibly unfair situation of having to choose between their children. Either having to tell the non resident children  that they are no longer welcome to stay over on Christmas Eve per tradition or feeling like they are displacing the son and his family that are living with them. As guests in the grandparents home the op and DH should try harder to find a way to make things work without blowing up the family tradition and making others feel unwelcome.[/quote]

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