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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is this Multiple Sclerosis?

My mother has had MS nearly all her adult life. After relapses, she used to be particularly tired (but thankfully hasn't had one in years). However she would never want to disinvite her family for Christmas - it's just for 24hrs, is that correct, or for a longer visit? A long visit would not be in the cards after a relapse, but 24, she would come down for an hour on Christmas morning, then go back up in her room.

I'm sorry you are in this situation, OP. It's not easy being a partner of a permanently disabled person, it's actually damn difficult! Plus you're at your ILs for the foreseeable future and your SIL is annoying.

But I think an overnight and Christmas morning in the same house, but not necessarily together, might be beneficial - your SIL might see how handicapped her brother actually is, and understand a little better. My mother had an awful time with her sisters during the first years, when she had no firm diagnosis, because she was accused by her sisters of malingering and depending on my father's support... it was a really bad period in her life.

Best of luck to you and your husband going forward.

[/quote]

It isn't MS.

If you were 10, and your mom said she was going to spend Christmas in her room, other than an hour, and not be there when you opened your presents, or for meals, or for other traditions, would you really have not felt hurt by that?  I'm having trouble feeling like that's a fair solution to my kids.

[/quote]

Honestly my kids are far more into playing with their toys than hanging out with me on Christmas Day. Also presumably a child of 10 would understand that DH is sick and not feel slighted by him needing to rest during some of the festivities.. What if you do stockings/immediate family presents first thing as an immediate family in your room and then you/ kids can go down to exchange presents with the cousins /play with new toys while DH rests. Then he can come down for the Christmas meal. You’re presenting this as an all or nothing and it doesn’t have to be.[/quote]

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