Reply to Step Children V Children Gift giving for extended family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t totally understand how everyone is related but I’ll say:

- I don’t handle H’s side of the family when it comes to cards/gifts/birthdays/Christmas/whatever. Saves a ton of drama and my own time and sanity.

- No one in my family gets gifts for my step kids (H’s kids). No one in H’s family gets gifts for my kids (so H’s step kids).

- H and I have a kid together and inequity hasn’t been a problem since our kids from previous marriage also have tons of extended family that gives them gifts. But if it were, we would take it on ourselves to even things out rather than expect our extended families to.

- I stay out of H’s family drama and he stays out of mine. [b]If a kid said this to me, I’d laugh, file it under “kids say the darndest things”, and move on with my life. If kid’s parents had an issue with our gift, I’d let H handle it. Not my business.[/b] [/quote]

This is how DH thought of it, until I told him it was a bit rude. [/quote]

Eh. Kids say rude things, especially at 10/11. They have strong opinions and are less shy than little kids, but haven’t yet developed the ability to filter. My 10yp stepdaughter spend thanksgiving comparing and contrasting me with her mom, ending in “you two are so much alike and would be great friends! Dad must really have a Type!” I just about died laughing.

I think you should be the adult and not punish him. Continue giving whatever gifts you want, and if he’s still being rude once he hits his teens, then say something or stop giving gifts. [/quote]

I don't consider your stepdaughter trying to bring everyone together with things in common rude or a bad thing.  That's sweet.  I would have no issue if kids said that to me.

However, regardless of step or not, any child saying that is RUDE.  If my child did that, he not only would't get the money, but would be forced to apologize and there would be consequences in our home.  Part of it is parenting.  [/quote]

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