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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that.  One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.[/quote]

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.[/quote]

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh![/quote]

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp![/quote]

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.[/quote]

Someone that would lie and cheat on his family is someone you can't trust. You didn't know him, and he likely lied to you as well. Again you don't know if he was sleeping with anyone else, or what. There's no excuse for "why" it happened. A married person is off limits period. Their problems are their business alone, and if you heard it all through him well then again he's cheater and a liar. What he says holds no weight.  Hopefully, you never go down that road again and find a nice man. [/quote]

This may seem hard for you to believe, internet stranger who thinks she knows more about my life and his than we do, but I do know him, and what he was doing, and has done since. Your assumption that everyone who cheats is promiscuous trailer trash with an IQ of 70 and no insight is not correct.[/quote]

No I don't think it says anything about IQ. It does say you had serious problems to lower yourself to get into that type of situation.

If you were interested romantically you could have easily told him to contact you if he's ever single. I'm thinking probably his wife truly knows him and what he is. If you know what he's done since it tells me you need to pull the plug on that loser.

[/quote]

Thanks Einstein. Again you don’t know the situation and mental space I was in at the time, how or why it happened, or the nature of the relationship then or since. Your sanctimonious condescension was not requested.[/quote]

She sort of does.

You were in a bad mental space … you said that, she is saying that.

It happened because you were in a bad mental space, clearly. That’s not sanctimonious it’s true. He used you and you were not mentally able to stop it or worse your mental state sought out the abuse. It’s really almost play by play the same every time.[/quote]

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