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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister has been married for over 25 years.  She's successful, has many friends, and is very active and well known in her community.  Her husband had been married before, young, it ended ugly, and he has (now grown) children.  He told her when they were young enough that he'd have kids with her if that's what she wanted, but that if it were up to him alone he really didn't want more kids.  She elected not to have any.

The other day she told me she "immensely regrets" her decision.  I was surprised.

I'm just curious if anyone else reading this is in the same boat, and how you're dealing with it.  I feel badly for her.    [/quote]
Of course she regrets it now. If she had kids 25 years ago they’d be launched and out of her hair. She’s probably seeing her friends getting visits from adult kids. [/quote]

That's a really good insight. I'm the 48 year old with no regrets (yet, who knows what the future brings). And I never, ever, ever see people with young kids and wish I could have some of what they've got. But I definitely can understand how you'd wish you had relationships with adult kids. That seems like a much more enjoyable relationship.

I guess for many of us who chose not to have kids, the thing is do you want 20 years of having to raise children for the prospect of later years of getting to enjoy them as adults. I chose no for that - even aware that the tradeoff is that I won't get those later years that I might have liked; I just thought I would so dislike the child raising years that it wasn't worth it.

Will I regret it? I don't know! It's hard to predict the future. I do know that today, when I see people with babies and young children, I don't wish I could trade places with them.[/quote]

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