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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think women are given a weird message of "you don't need to have kids to have a fulfilling life! You'll travel and have fun!"  I'm sure that's true but it's also true that having kids is also fulfilling and fun and involves travel. I think sometimes women get caught up in the idea that their lives will be better in certain ways if they don't have kids and over time they see things aren't so clear cut and they might have just missed out on something they would have loved.  [/quote]

Maybe. But on the flip side of this, especially for UMC educated women with careers and travels and relationships they enjoy, there is a huge push towards being "real" about motherhood that I think is a HUGE deterrent to many women. "You'll have your undercarriage torn asshole to clit! You'll never be able to jog again without pissing yourself! You liked to travel, welcome to budget lodging and Disney. You thought 16 hour days of working were bad with no weekends? Being a MAMA is worse and going to be so much more horrible than anything you've experienced!" etc. etc. The message is basically, "If you want to be a mom you need to abandon your former self almost entirely. NOTHING will be the same and your life will flip so completely because you could NEVER understand what it's like until you're there. And it is.going.to.suck."

That's....scary to thoughtful people?

I'm a fence-sitter who had accidental twins at 40. At least for me the latter message was received much more clearly than any kind of, "young, fun, travel" message about having kids. And I kinda lived both lives.  [/quote]

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