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[quote=Anonymous]Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate that people have given their pearls of wisdom here. Hope that this is something that will help other parents.

We are not eligible for merit aid or any kind of need based scholarship - solely based on HHI. We can pay the amount but it will undoubtedly will pinch a whole lot.  Of course, this is no excuse.  Parents like myself may become disengaged with the financial aid process if we are told "you make too much to qualify".

But, another side to it was that we should have absolutely tried to understand if a) there were other ways to get grants and exemptions and b) if the cost of an elite college was worth it for a particular major.

We are older parents, a handful of years away from retirement, and all the kids have not launched fully (working, studying...not married).  Our older two kids went through state flagship. Full tuition, merit aid. I paid for room and board.  They are very good and hardworking students and did fairly well.  In some ways, we became used to not paying for college as a big ticket expense.

My youngest is a student who does well effortlessly and has been exceling throughout. Older siblings are immensely proud of him and they were adamant that he should apply to the BEST and highest ranked school for his major.   I was pretty removed from the whole process. In all honesty, I was asked by the kids if we could afford, and I said "sure". I guess once you leave your in-state public schools then everything becomes very expensive.  I knew it, and yet, I did not know it.

My focus was pretty much on the admission process and keeping sane during a COVID admissions process which was like a game of Russian roulette.

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