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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all again for the advice and for the amazing cocktail from DCUM bartender! For those offering advice specific to sailboats: my husband is a lifelong sailor and has always had one. He just has his heart set on upgrading to really a much larger one with three cabins etc. And yes, they are that expensive even used, and he knows they don’t hold their value. We’d finance it— it would be a large monthly payment of about $3k plus of course slip fees, maintenance etc.
It’s not even about the boat for me so much as it is about the disregard for me. The other night when I told him I really don’t want to get this huge boat he said, “[b]I don’t care what you want.[/b]”
Plus the lack of sex for 5 years, when I got tired of constantly initiating so just stopped, is a big problem. And the not-infrequent verbal abuse he throws my way is also a major, if not the core, issue.[/quote]

You do see why this is a problem, right?? Take your money out of his control. Put it in individual accounts. Do NOt pay for that boat. Divorce.[/quote]

Someone who doesn't care what you want (or even someone who tells you that they don't care what you want) is openly contemptuous of you. It is so, so sad to be married to someone who has contempt for you, who doesn't care for you and doesn't feel concern that your wants and needs are satisfied (ask me how I know, haha...)

I am 50, remarried to a caring, hard-working, sweet, and sexy man. They are out there. And in the period after my divorce, before I met my current husband, I was so much better off than when I was married to my first husband. Getting away from that relationship opened up space for me to care for myself, and to treat myself with love and respect. You deserve those things.[/quote]

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