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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all again for the advice and for the amazing cocktail from DCUM bartender! For those offering advice specific to sailboats: my husband is a lifelong sailor and has always had one. He just has his heart set on upgrading to really a much larger one with three cabins etc. And yes, they are that expensive even used, and he knows they don’t hold their value. We’d finance it— it would be a large monthly payment of about $3k plus of course slip fees, maintenance etc.
It’s not even about the boat for me so much as it is about the disregard for me. The other night when I told him I really don’t want to get this huge boat he said, “I don’t care what you want.”
Plus the lack of sex for 5 years, when I got tired of constantly initiating so just stopped, is a big problem. And the not-infrequent verbal abuse he throws my way is also a major, if not the core, issue.[/quote]

Oh, OP, please think one thing:

IT IS NOT ABOUT THE BOAT.  Take the freaking boat of the equation entirely.  By focusing on the boat, you're forcing yourself into this debate about boating life/non boating life how big, how much, slip  etc etc etc.  DETAILS.  Strip ALL OF THAT out of this and you're left with:

- financially supporting someone who says he doesn't care what you want
- no sex
- no ability to retire or plan a retirement that includes your interesting
- verbal abuse

Oh honey.  I want to give you a hug and then some tough love:  NONE OF THIS IS ACCEPTABLE, whether there's a boat or not a boat.  [/quote]

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