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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all again for the advice and for the amazing cocktail from DCUM bartender! For those offering advice specific to sailboats: my husband is a lifelong sailor and has always had one. He just has his heart set on upgrading to really a much larger one with three cabins etc. And yes, they are that expensive even used, and he knows they don’t hold their value. We’d finance it— it would be a large monthly payment of about $3k plus of course slip fees, maintenance etc.
It’s not even about the boat for me so much as it is about the disregard for me. The other night when I told him I really don’t want to get this huge boat he said, “I don’t care what you want.”
Plus the lack of sex for 5 years, when I got tired of constantly initiating so just stopped, is a big problem. And the not-infrequent verbal abuse he throws my way is also a major, if not the core, issue.[/quote]

Boat girl here.  That’s ^ ridiculous.  On so many levels, not just financial. Do you have enough income/savings to pay cash for college for all of your teens?  Who exactly is going to crew a larger boat?  Who is going to go on multi-day cruises (because that’s the sole purpose of bigger cabins).  Your kids are teens and have their own activities and will leave soon, and who has the time for multi-day cruising?

But, the lack of sex and not infrequent verbal abuse are showstoppers.  Don’t just get a financial planner, get an individual therapist and get a lawyer. Your kids are teens. Get some advice from the financial planner about college costs and whether it’s better to separate now or after high school.

As a victim of verbal and emotional abuse, I will just counsel - don’t kid yourself about the danger to your mental health of staying in a verbally abusive relationship.  Waiting it out until your youngest graduates sounds much easier than it is.  Also, do not under estimate what witnessing verbal abuse is teaching your kids - both boys and girls. [/quote]

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