Reply to What is a "normal" amount of drinking for a mid-30's/early 40's parent?

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[quote=Anonymous]It's so easy to judge, and "normal" is something a lot of people strive for but there are such different patterns/norms for drinking that it can be an odd thing to talk about. What's normal in one area is not in another area, and it is very cultural.

I am a (white, 37 year old) drinker, mostly a "glass after the kids go to bed" drinker, but I can throw down. I don't have any judgements about drinking socially in front of kids. But... yeah, excessive neighborhood drinking worries me sometimes. We have friends (best friends of my SIL) who live in a close-knit suburban UMC neighborhood (not in DC, but in the midwest -- think McMansions) and they drink a LOT. During summer weekends, they basically don't stop. Titos and le croix. All kinds of beer. You name it, they have it around. Offering some alcohol is basically seen as standard neighborly practice whether it be 11am or 9pm. They all have kids.

If I lived there, it would drive me bonkers and I feel like I'd struggle socially because I just don't like being buzzed/plastered all the time and there certainly is pressure to drink or get high. But it's "normal" for them and, seemingly, everyone in their neighborhood.

In my neighborhood, which is urban and more diverse, drinking is much less common but still pretty common. Trick or treating? No. Playground? No. Baseball games? Not really, but I've seen it happen. BBQs/neighborhood parties? Absolutely and it can get sloppy.

In the neighborhood we lived in before this one, drinking was extremely limited and neighbors didn't really socialize. You'd definitely get some side eyes if you were drinking a beer at the side of a soccer game, though.

I don't think there's a "right" amount or a "standard" amount -- it varies so much, and you never know whether people go home after a workday and slam a bottle of wine privately.

But... to OP's original point, what you're describing is fairly common. If it's not your scene, it's not your scene. If they give you weird looks, exert pressure, or your husband starts to drink at a level that you don't like, then maybe I'd reevaluate but if you're just trying to gaguge whether this is unusual or not, it's not really... but that doesn't mean it needs to be usual for you. 
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