Reply to Help me with techniques for addressing my MIL’s behavior

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I think there are a few important things:

- you are exhausted already, so don't have bandwidth for this
- you shouldn't be asked to handle everything for her.

I'd suggest:
- I love the PP's suggestions of all the things you need to do.  Maybe it's just to go to someone else's house. Or retreating into your room for long periods of time.  But really, create a schedule that allows you a lot of down time.  the annoying stories will be much easier in smaller doses.  
- Your sleep is critical, so say 8pm-8am you are in your room.  DH and MIL can handle the kids except your DH can bring you the baby.
- Your DH should take MIL out on some special outings.  That is not your job.  You are staying home with the baby, DH can take the kids.
- Your DH handles the food situation -- he can call her to get a sense of some things she likes.  He can buy some premade food or just steam vegetables or brown rice as sides for your meals that are easy to do so she always has an alternative.  You can continue to cook if that is normal but the planning and mental load for what to serve to satisfy her are on him.
- Your DH should approach the problem of the glitter / decorations and gifts.  He can make it into a moral issue: "We are worried that glitter and many of the adhesives are terrible for the environment.  We are really working to commit to all natural material stuffies, wood toys, etc.."  or whatever includes what you would find acceptable. She's already moralistic about food so this should play right in.
- I agree that some internal amusements about her stories, etc are probably good therapy for bad situations.  But really, you should have a way to excuse yourself as needed while she is there.  I threw my FIL out of my house after a visit where I was really sick from childbirth and he expected to be waited on.  He was being a jerk, but really I could have handled it better by drawing my boundaries before the point where I lost it and asked DH and BIL who was also visiting for more help.[/quote]

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