Reply to Husband's Depression is Ruining our Relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/male-depression/art-20046216

OP you may find NAMI a source of info and support.

His depression is not being adequately addressed by his current approach. Irritability is a very common sign of depression in men and he is describing feelings of depression. It needs to be brought up with his doctor, often meds need to be tweaked or changed. His therapist does not sound like that approach is helping.

How is his work life? Do you work? If you do, focus on keeping a stable career for yourself.[/quote]

Thanks. He enjoys his work.

I work a lot and have a good career. It's becoming increasingly difficult for me to manage against my home life. 
[b]
I also work many hours so he is the primary parent. [/b][/quote]

What?

I am sorry, but from what you have described you have a spouse in a major mental health crisis who is verbally and borderline physically abusive and HE's the primary parent of the toddler?

If he had cancer, a heart attack, or a major accident with trauma you would take time off to deal with his care and recovery. It sounds like you need to do that here even if it affects your career. I disagree with the PP. this isn't forgetting to take Larla to a sports practice. Your home sounds like a war zone and he retreats into violent video games every night, which there's been plenty of research on, and none of it good for depression.

[b]This whole situation is just messed up.[/b]

[/quote]
This. OP, I say this gently. You seem a little in denial about how serious this situation is right now. It's dangerous for everyone involved, including your DH. If he had actually hurt you (or the baby) when throwing something at you, how do you think he would feel for the rest of his life? This isn't a minor thing. Maybe changing meds will help, but most likely it'll take time. And you will need time to heal from how you've been treated. You must know this isn't right and not something to model for your kid.

Please don't downplay what's happening here. There are blinking red lights and sirens. Your family is in crisis, and you need a lot more help than you are currently getting.[/quote]

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