Reply to I don't want to spend holidays with my in-laws

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Hadn’t checked on the thread and appreciate the suggestions offered. DH arranged another time to meet up over the holidays with his parents. They were not thrilled by the suggestion and said they’d “think about it.”

To the posters who asked what the issue is, yes, I’d like my in-laws to show interest in cultivating a relationship with my kids - their only grandchildren - beyond the dog and pony show of three holidays a year. We aren’t a big family and we (DH / me) make no demands of them other than simply wanted to spend time with them. We often offer to pay, host, or even pick them up in order to alleviate the burden on them. But nothing.

DH and I both had wonderful relationships with our grandparents and it’s something we’d hoped for our kids even if in a more limited capacity.

If my in laws lived far away or even more than an hour away, I would excuse their complete lack of interest in being part of the milestones that are part of my kids’ lives. But the fact that they live so close and make no effort, but then expect us to show up on holidays, play happy family, and most annoyingly use our limited family time to take and post pictures on Facebook makes it hard to rationalize making the effort to see them. Bottom line is it hurts - DH and me are hurt and our kids have started to notice though at the same time are increasingly distant from their grandparents.

For those who have close family relationships you may not be able to relate - or maybe you do. Regardless, I’m looking forward to the holidays with dear friends this year, some of whom we’ve known since childhood. Thank God for families of choice. [/quote]

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