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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Between my two adult children in their 40s one has had a spouse and both have had long term relationships.  I have never expressed that I want to invite or go out with only my child and the spouse or BF or GF was not invited.  I would not want to insult them that way, whether I loved them, liked them, didn't care either way or hated them.  It's a path I would not go down.

If I did invite the couple(s) to something and the other couldn't make it for some reason I did then enjoy the time with just my adult child.  But I did not request it.  I would not have wanted that to happen to me so I didn't do it to them.[/quote]

Op. This is so foreign to me! It would never occur to me that one-on-one parent/adult child socializing was weird, I was thinking of parents + multiple adult children. Whenever one of my parents visit I make a point to have some time with just me and Mom or me and Dad or me and Mom & Dad. I suggest to DH times it would be particularly convenient for him to visit his mom just him. I think of it like, look, even if I like my friend’s husband sometimes I want it to be just us. [/quote]

I don't think one on one time is weird.  I have one on one time with both my adult children regularly.  What I think is wrong is requesting it and specifically saying the spouse is not welcome.  It would be REALLY rude and weird to do that for a vacation, less so for a lunch or dinner but still, rude.  I would not want to treat my kid's spouse or even a BF or GF like that

I say something like this:  Are you free for dinner Friday?  If they says yes, I say, Will Larla be able to come too?  If they say no, fine.  If they say yes, fine.  I never say, How about just you and me, don't invite Larla. Or even worse, Don't tell Larla about it.

It's a good way to find yourself the topic of anti-MIL conversations on DCUM, trust me.  But realistically it's also a good way to alienate an important member of your family or at least an important person in your child's life.[/quote]

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