Reply to Realized my SIL in "grey rocking" me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, I don’t fire off incessant questions or talk all.the.time. More like try to join the conversation by asking follow up questions or the typical hey how are you type things.  I’ll sit in silence no problem but if I don’t engage at all at some point seems to me like I am being rude to her. Maybe that’s my hangup and I should just be more aloof? [/quote]

So you  cram yourself into a private conversation she's having with someone else?  No social skills or self-awareness. Yes, it is a you problem.  Say , hello, and keep it movng. Talk to someone else, or maybe shut up, everyone including your husband might appreciate it.[/quote]

Depends on the situation, if there are four adults at a table then it would be normal for OP to join in the conversation, if OP is walking up to the SIL having a conversation with someone else in the room then yes OP needs to stop.  Don't force your way into your SIL's conversations.

Make brief conversation when you first arrive or if you find yourself next to SIL however do not try to join any conversation she is having with anyone else.  If there are a small group of people I can see how this dynamic would be uncomfortable to work around.  Op if you are at a table try to sit away from her if you can and perhaps let her talk with others and sit back a bit for a while, you don't need to be the one to ask follow up questions.  Join in the conversation when it moves on to someone else or another topic.

Lets face it if she is talking ok with one person and then you come along and she starts giving one word answers, you don't need to put that much effort in.  Just sit back and let the conversation move along.  Join in then.[/quote]

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