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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”[/quote]
Agree with this.  The girls will also (unfortunately) text behind girl B's back about it.[/quote]

Completely disagree. This is how the vicious circle of bit--y girl behavior continues.

If you're that good of friends with A's mom, then you bring it up with a "hey I'm concerned" and talk on the down low about it. If someone informed ME of that, I'd use this as an opportunity to speak to my kid about not being an asshat. Anyone who defends this behavior is just that.

I'd also speak to my OWN child. So that she can chime in in B's defense ("I'm fine with her coming with us.")

Kids need to be taught to be nice people at this age. So teach them. [/quote]

I agree MS kids need more guidance and that we need to teach them to be nice, but I would be careful about the judgment here.  We don’t actually know the reasons this girl wasn’t invited.  It’s possible she was the one being unkind and the host needs a break and just doesn’t know how to handle it with tact.  And maybe she IS trying to be kind by not blabbing about a conflict that occurred to the rest of the group - there could be a lot of scenarios here.

At the end of the day, it’s her guest list since she is the one hosting.  And whether OP’s daughter decides to attend, and whether she decides to include girl B going forward in other events she does initiate or host, is of course up to her.[/quote]

First of all, you're making assumptions about the excluded girl being mean or unkind. While certainly a possibility, that is not indicated by OP.

But even if this is the case, and the host needs a break, deliberately excluding the ONE girl is not giving her the break as it will just cause more problems. The more "big kid" thing to do would be invite her and then, if you have issues, deal with them after the fact. Have the conversation with the girl or SLOWLY start pulling back for a "break." Doing it in dramatic fashion on a special day, leaving the one girl hanging . . . . make is awkward for everyone, is mean, and will not have the desired effect of calming things down. It just won't. And OP's post is just the beginning of proving that point. [/quote]

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