Reply to Why do you blame your DIL/SIL instead of your son/brother?

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Reply to "Why do you blame your DIL/SIL instead of your son/brother?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is all part of a larger issue - why we give men a pass when it comes to family responsibilities in general. Unless we demand more participation from the men in our lives, nothing will change. Women need to stop doing everything when it comes to family calendar management, childcare, elder care, etc. [/quote]

Yes, part of the reason the woman gets blamed is that there is a societal assumption that women are the social engineers of a family. I love my in-laws and they love me, but I have never, ever “owned” the relationship with them. My husband deals with the plans, gifts, etc for them. And he is very good at that stuff. Honestly, if he sucked at it, they might very well blame me.

That said, when women stop reaching out to their family of origin, you may also hear blame about the husband being controlling. This is just less common because women have been trained to be the social engineers. My dad and his wife are a mess so I don’t see them often. My husband encourages that we see them more — and I’m like “nope, they suck.”[/quote]

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