Reply to How do you deal with a spouse who doesn't stand up to his family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is there to be gained by confronting people that excluded you from events?
Other than looking like sad pathetic losers?[/quote]

These were small events just for family. On a few occasions my husband was the only one of the children not to be invited.
By confrontation I don't mean being rude or demanding. He could have casually asked if we could join them.

They sometimes organize these small events on a weekday. My husband works full time from Monday to Friday so he can't take time off work for family gatherings during the week.  It's usually a lunch at home or out, a celebration or other. The others are either SAHMs, or they have a more flexible timetable.[/quote]

so you want them not to meet during the workday because you are not available?  What the what?  [/quote]

I read it that OP would like it if they occasionally had something on the weekend so OP and her husband could be included.  It is excluding them a little when they then don't make an effort during other family events to talk to them.  The sibling relationships don't sound that close.

Op all I can suggest is to plan a lunch on the weekend and invite the siblings.  Do this every now and again and see how it goes.  If other siblings are SAHM then its natural they will get together throughout the week and you shouldn't think much about this.  Any money going to grandchildren is none of your business and is not unfairness.

I dare say that because you have chosen a different sort of lifestyle to them, they may feel out of touch with you so when you see them, ask heaps about their kids etc, if they continue to be cold or are unable to show interest in your life, well there isn't much you can do but build your own support networks and drop the rope with them, keep it superficial and that's it.

[/quote]

This is the OP once again.
You get it, thanks. You may be right that my SAHM SILs feel out of touch with us. We kind of feel out of touch with them too. We have a different lifestyle to them, and we have different timetables.

The age difference between my husband and his siblings may play a role. They are all between 7 and 12 years younger than him.

My husband is friendly with his siblings but he doesn't feel a close connection. One of his sisters works in performing arts and she is very theatrical in the way she behaves, even with close family. My husband thinks this is over the top and unnecessary.

We are childfree by choice and, even if we wanted to become parents, that ship has sailed. We're too old now.
You are the one who brought up the college money in a completely disjointed update rant.

Some posters made comments about money. DH and I are financially comfortable and we don't need money from MIL, thanks. We invested our own money wisely.[/quote][/quote]

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