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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's pretty clear that most of the PPs haven't been in a similar situation. It's all fine and good to try to shame OP for not having more empathy for SC, but unless you've been in the situation or witnessed it happening to your own family, you really have no idea how you'd feel toward the SC.

This is a difficult situation on everyone: the SC, OP, her DH and their kids. My family went through something similar when my parents were trying to get custody of my step-siblings, who were being physically abused by their mother's boyfriend.  Lots of false accusation hurled at my mother and step-father during the custody proceedings.  The fallout from that, and the patterns of behavior that arose out of the situation, resulted in stressful, unstable years for all of us and it all imploded about 10 years later when my mom finally called it quits.  Even though we all recognized that my step-siblings had come from a horrible situation and that they had had a pretty sad childhood, it's hard to feel limitless empathy for someone who actively tries to cause trouble or who makes bad decisions that cause financial or legal problems for the rest of the family.

OP, I think what you are feeling is completely normal. Depending on the age of your kids, they may also feel some resentment over the upheaval and stress the SC's behavior is causing on everyone. Therapy for you and maybe family therapy (You, DH and your own kids) seems like a good idea.  Your DH really needs to take charge of the situation with his child and work with his ex to get SC the help she needs. You can be supportive of that process and provide - within reason - resources etc., but DH needs to take the lead.  It's unrealistic and unfair for DH to pressure you into having a deeper relationship with her at this point under the circumstances.  The nature of your relationship with SC and the ways you can be supportive are issues that can be explored further in family therapy, too.  [/quote]

But critically, SD didn't accuse OP of anything. She was writing privately in her own way as a diary or a creative outlet or whatever. OP says she said it was not true. This feels like a very critical and important difference. It sounds like SD didn't make a choice to accuse OP, her teacher's did behind her back. [/quote]

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