Reply to Can a parent see that other children are more beautiful than their own children?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Can a parent see that other children are more beautiful than their own children? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Interesting question. For me, my DD is the most beautiful kid in the world, but I understand that what our culture considers beautiful may be different. It's the same with my H, he is by far the most attractive, gorgeous man in the world to me, even though he looks different than what our culture holds as ideal beauty. I can tell when a person fits societal beauty norms, but that doesn't necessarily mean I find them beautiful or attractive. I find most beauty norms fairly generic and bland.[/b]

But that being said, I have been working to stop defaulting to noticing/commenting on peoples' looks. I was classically beautiful my whole life and have heard non-stop commentary since I was a very young child. It was not good for me to hear and did damage to my self-esteem, since I thought that was all I was good for. And I was a total wreck once I hit my 30s, had kids, and suddenly wasn't "hot" anymore. So I've been training myself to notice other aspects of children and adults other than their looks, and to never comment on someone's looks to either them or other people. Humans are more valuable than that.[/quote]

I could have written the bolded. DH is gorgeous, but he's Asian American and 5'5". Although not always overlooked, he has often been invisible, especially to white women. I don't find blonde hair attractive, personally (on men or women) and am not often attracted to white people, but I'm aware I'm the exception, not the rule. I see a light-eyed blond white kid who is otherwise unremarkable and I know that while I don't think much of their looks (though I may like them a lot!) most people will coo over them.

As for my kid, I think she's gorgeous, but she both suffers and benefits from racism and colorism, because she's biracial and lightskinned. I do think she's "objectively" (ha) beautiful, and I'm sure that I can't help adding another Mom Point or two-- so I wouldn't say I've seen too many kids that are obviously significantly more beautiful than she is. To my eye.  :lol:  But on the other hand-- I would definitely say there are one or more kids in her class every single year that are as attractive as she is. And I can definitely recognize and even comment on that-- but only to my husband, in private. Or maybe once in a while to their parents.  :)   [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics