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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.
Thank you all for your comments (and for reading my vent).

Sometimes I think it’s a socioeconomic thing, too. My colleagues who worked their way up from less money have parents who are so so proud that they are doctors. Therefore, their parents don’t mess with them. Other female colleagues have mothers who had demanding jobs, and are understanding. I’m in a weird netherworld where we were UMC and my mom was a SAHM. My becoming a doctor was no big deal - a few of my moms’s friends sons are doctors - but my mom doesn’t have any professional experience and will say things like “you should just refuse to go to work! Tell them you have to some time with your family!”  And two of her friends sent me mail (on notecards decorated with flowers) telling me I should quit my job “temporarily” in the middle of covid to take care of my dad. I’ll tell you this much, I’m sure none of their sons would ever EVER get a note like that.

Covid times have been awful for everyone, though. So I try to be understanding. But the dog comment made me lose it.[/quote]

Maybe but not always. I’m second generation from an immigrant family and hear it just as much. DH and I both have demanding jobs working outside the home for long hours. We have successful careers but I get the lecture and attempt at guilt constantly. I don’t feed my kids real food, I’m not taking caring of my family, I don’t take care of my husband, we don’t have a real marriage, we don’t have dinners together and family time, we don’t belong to a church so this will hurt my kids future since they won’t have values…. There’s a lot worse that’s said.

It’s okay to take conscious breaks from family. I’ve said “I’m hanging up the phone now. I can’t talk to you right now.” And taken breaks for long periods of time. Give yourself permission when you need to do this. [/quote]

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