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[quote=Anonymous]How - if at all - do you plan around children who either aren't settled or you can't live where they live?

One kid lives in Manhattan. Will never leave Manhattan, so she is settled. We can't afford it or even nearby - and all we could afford there is maybe 1 bedroom situation with shared laundry etc. and we just don't feel up to that. Plus while I find NYC exciting, DH does not want to walk that much - it's an all walking city so I see myself dealing with everything including lugging groceries home or figuring out deliveries. So that's out.

Other kid - in the DC area - just not settled. Doesn't like her job, hoping for something better. But if something better were to come along in say Chicago or Charlotte, I don't think she'd say no and honestly I wouldn't want her to; she's had a rough career and I want her to be happy and if that takes her to Chicago, so be it. We're in NJ (lived in DC 2 decades ago so I started reading this board when I found it 5-10 yrs ago) - no family etc. but we're staying put because we're not sure where to go. In terms of location it's central to both kids - they can get there easily by train (for the New Yorker) or car.

We want to be near some family yet we also feel like we'd end up in a situation where we move to Va. to be near daughter - 2 years later she gets a job in Atlanta and then we're either stuck moving again to follow OR we then live in Va. with no family OR she turns down the job out of "obligation" to us - which is a resentment I don't want.[/quote]

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