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[quote=Anonymous]Family in NY, parents retired to Senior community in Fl. They loved it- until Dad got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Dad took care of everything, when he got sick, Mom fell apart, actually went into a diabetic coma. One son lived in FL 3 hr away, (with college age kids), other 3 of us in NY with babies & toddlers. Son that lived in FL was annoyed he got stuck driving them to dr appt, wanted us to drop everything & come to FL. Mom also annoyed all of the children weren't willing to drop everything to run to FL. Meanwhile, 1 of the children in NY, a DD was ALWAYS the "favorite"& we all knew it, no matter how much, "We love you all equally" BS from parents (Favorite actually did nothing- & later, inherited everything , incl multi Million IRA/401k outside of the will as the sole beneficiary), Dad died, mom about 2 years later- none of the children speak anymore  because of fighting over care, inheritance.  So consider, who will help you if you or your spouse gets sick. Who will clean out your home? Be realistic about your expectations. If you or your children are in a cold snowy climate, remember, airports close. If you expect a child to care for you & you are 2000 mi away, don't be surprised if they can't or won't.

We retired in a small place, near DD, not where I particularly wanted to live, but where she has a great job.  We downsized & threw out a lot to go from a SFH to small 2-bedroom condo. We gave DD access to everything- brokerage, bank, wills, etc. & talk about our future, like end of life care. She's an only- we don't want to be a burden.[/quote]

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