Reply to I have an egalitarian marriage, and I HATE it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We split childcare, cooking, cleaning. Everything is always chaos. Who has time to work full time plus communicate constantly about every little detail of home management in order to keep things running remotely smoothly? Power struggles about how to do every little thing since there are two people who have to have ultimate responsibility for the outcome. We are bad at this!! Maybe other people can do it better.

To me the ideal arrangement would be that my husband was out of the house more, earning more money, and I had a part time job and had more time with kids and home management. Why do women complain about that arraignment? I really don't get it. I actually hate having other people (DH, nanny) in my kitchen, doing a half-ass job. My poor kids have part time with me, nanny, and daddy, but no one person who really gets to spend extended, quality time, learning about their needs and being there for them. I hate this.

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I disagree.  The ideal arrangement is that your husband works part time and does a great job doing nearly everything around the house and with the children.   You get up in the morning, put on the clean clothes he hung up for you in the closet that he organized, brush your teeth with the toothpaste he bought, give the kids a kiss and casually tell your husband that one of them might have a runny nose and maybe shouldn’t go to school that day, then go to work.  After work, come home and play with the kids while your husband finishes making dinner, do the dishes while he supervises homework, play a game as a family, and put the kids to bed 50% of the time.  If you have to work late, you just send him a text to let him know.  He figures out what to do. 
If it works out, you might take kids to an activity or pick them up after work.  If it doesn’t, you just text your husband, and he figures it out.  
Saturdays, you make the kids breakfast with the food he bought from the grocery store, dress the kids in their athletic uniforms that he washed and laid out, and go watch their games.  Sundays, you sleep in.  One of those days, you make dinner.  Sometimes you take the kids to visit family or friends.
Holidays and birthdays, you just show up.  
Summer, pretty much the same as the rest of the year except you go to the pool more often, congratulate your kids on learning to swim (how did that even happen?), and sometimes your kids tell you they went to camp that day.
Throw in splitting some of the home maintenance, hiring someone to mow the lawn, unloading the dishwasher twice a week, and showing up to parent teacher conferences, and you can say that you do 50% of the housework and childcare when you are home, go to most of their games, are involved in their school, and are still doing great at work. 
 [/quote]

Laying out uniforms sounds a lot better than busting my *SS at my very demanding 60 hour per week job. By a lot.[/quote]

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