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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve only known a handful of people who truly don’t want kids, and they are very open about it. There is no cooing over a baby and saying “that will be us someday” no talk of kids, none of that.  They wouldn’t start a relationship and talk of kids, dream of kids, only to pull it back once you’ve fallen in love.  You aren’t dealing with a woman who “decided she didnt want kids”.

It sounds to me like she either read too much negative stuff during the big rainstorm last week, or she listened to someone vent.  Either that, or she’s met someone maybe an older guy who is telling her how much his teens suck, I once heard someone say that he knew Abraham’s son wasn’t a teenager because if he were, killing him “wouldn’t have been a sacrifice”

As for me, I’d not want to date someone who “sat me down” like a schoolboy on a beautiful fall weekend to tell me they decided to fundamentally alter the future we were planning on.  I wouldn’t “give her time” for anything, this is a choice she’s making.

You certainly don’t want to “give her time” and stick around to do all the boy jobs you did when you were dating, bring her food when she’s had a rough week, do fun date activities, only to have her say in a couple years “I told you I didn’t want kids”.

From where I sit, I don’t know why you love her.

I’d end the relationship and find someone who wants the same future you do.

If you two were married, I’d have a discussion about depression, but as a girlfriend, no. The reason is that there is very little you can do for a girlfriend so if she is depressed, you’ll be put into the role of never ending support, support on her terms when you could be finding a life partner who shares your goals and dreams.

For what it’s worth, I’m a woman.  I have 3 kids, and I don’t regret having them. The state of the world doesn’t bother me a bit. Is it perfect, no, but then it never is. It is also not a bad place to be with the right attitude. As context, my teenager was being an ass this morning, our tv has a crack in the screen, and it seems like school wants a covid test every five minutes.  All that being said, I enjoy my kids at least most of the time. They are nice, good, people. The world is a better place with them in it then it would be without them.

My advice would be the same for a woman who’s boyfriend didn’t want kids, find someone who shares your goals and is just as excited as you are.  As I tell my kids “you don’t go to a baseball stadium and expect to see a hockey game”.

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Honestly, unless your child is curing cancer, it doesn’t matter whether you brought them into existence or not. You feel the way you do only because they are YOUR KIDS. You also are a terrible person for second-guessing a woman’s decision to be childfree. [/quote]

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