Reply to “He didn’t do this the whole time you were gone”: is it me???

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Reply to "“He didn’t do this the whole time you were gone”: is it me???"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

DS is a gem at Sunday school, his classes, and with his peers. He’s generally friendly and listens well when on play dates.

With us:
-“I’m not putting on my shoes because you didn’t do X when I asked you to do it”.

He’s VERY disrespectful to us. I would’ve gotten my butt walloped for talking how he does.

-“you said ‘come up for dinner’ and dinner isn’t even on the table!”

Again, just simply rude in a way that isn’t appropriate I don’t think.

-fusses/tantrums/meltdowns: “Larla is ALWAYS first on her bike” screams, stomps feet

We went to see a family friend yesterday and he didn’t like the small gift she gave him so he threw it and screamed.

I know exactly what “Instagram parenting” is, and yeah we’ve done it. It clearly doesn’t work for this kid.

We need rules and boundaries but nothing works.

Also, yes, we are playing the long game. I don’t like my parents. They were overseers and didn’t engage with us. I want a relationship with my child, forever. But I also don’t want him to be a brat.[/quote]

He behaves for others and not for you because you let him be rude to you.  I get that kids can melt down with their parents and not others because they are more comfortable with their parents, but that is no reason to be a doormat for your child's repeated disrespect to you.

Again you don't need to be your parents but you can discipline and enforce basic politeness without being authoritarian about it.  If he's asking for something in a rude way, you can say in a neutral tone, "I'm going to need you to rephrase that... that's not a polite way to ask.  try again."  When he complies, say "that's better, thanks" and give him what he asked for. You don't need to yell to discipline.
 [/quote]

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