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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh. I’m so sorry and your poor son for getting those awful text messages from his dad’s AP.  Horrifying.

I kicked him out but was able to because our kids didn’t know and he wanted to keep it that way. His dad was a cheater and he knew firsthand the effect as a kid. I found out in the morning and told him he had to be out by the next day.  He slept in the basement that night and got up before kids did.  We told the kids he had to go on a business trip.

I could not have him in the house when my tensions were so high and I did not want to argue/snap in front of our kids- 12 and 15 at the time.

In my case, the affair was already over, ended by him and he wanted to desperately make amends and initiated individual and couples therapy, but I did not show up for the couple’s therapy.  He begged me to drop in on the zoom call and I refused.  It would be 6 months before I agreed to couples therapy when I saw his actions and how hard he was trying.

If he’s not remorseful now and has some balls to act like that and then refuse to leave—while playing mind games and telling you that you are being unreasonable- I think I’d seek counseling myself to help with the direction to take while also talking to a few family law specialists.

Your son will also need counseling for his father’s betrayal.  That stuff has a way of sticking with a kid through life if not processed.

So are you two still together? How are things now?

I’m so sorry this is happening to you.  People are awful.[/quote][/quote]

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