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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sad reading this post.  I observe elderly asians at the gym, pre-covid, whose kids would always be there helping them workout etc..  A couple of my asian co-workers also look after their elderly parents without a fuss. [/quote]

It's cultural. It is also common in such families for grandparents to be the primary source of childcare while parents work, and for young people to live with their parents well into their 20s and sometimes even 30s to save money for their own homes and families. Or, if the families are well off, for parents to provide substantial financial support to enable children to attend graduate school, for instance.

You cannot look at how people care for the elderly members of their family without viewing it as part of a larger picture of care and support. My DH and I paid our own way through school (with loans). We paid for our own wedding. We saved the money for our down payment ourselves. When we had a baby, we did not receive any financial support from our families and receive tons of demands for visits and quality time with our kids but zero offers of support for our family. Even during Covid, when I had to go part time in order to homeschool our kid, our families response was "well, good luck to you."

If they are expecting to come live with us or to provide chauffeur service or to, oh my god, help them work out at a gym.... well, good luck to them.

This is what happens when you take individualism to its maximum point. It's not great![/quote]

This. My parents were more helpful, but once I graduated from college I was on my own. There was no collective help like with some cultures.

I was unable to have children, and was therefore less valuable to my parents, even though they didn't help my sibling with children. I hope to either find a continuing care community somewhere else (since I live in the dc burbs right now due to my job) and live there post retirement. [/quote]

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