Reply to Men staying in marriage “for the childcare”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think conflating loving your kids and caring for your kids needs is not rare. There’s actually a big difference.

Hence Op’s question: do men subconsciously stay in an bad marriage because they the mom’s care is best for their children and they can’t replicate that. 
Plus for bonus points, being married w kids props up their Family Guy / Livable Guy image. [/quote]

Agree. Some personalities and types love their children but don’t know what caring for a child or teen entails whatsoever. And certainly if there are mental disorders or misogyny, they know to say they love their children so much, but cannot give examples of taking care of, teaching, and disciplining said child. Yet there should be dozens and dozens per day.[/quote]

The idea that men do not know how to care for kids, and don't believe they can "replicate" the care the mother provides, is stupid and misanthropic.[/quote]

The “idea” stems from 100s of weekly examples of neglect, lack of parenting, and general thoughtlessness coupled with the belief that a paycheck plus a few minutes of Goof Around time equals “a good dad.”  Oh, and waiting to be told by someone else what to do, how and when for the kids.  That’s a really mindful Good Dad too. [/quote]

Women are socialized to plan for “intensive parenting.” Men are not.

But intensive parenting needs to stop. It’s not working and it’s driving us all insane. No solutions though. [/quote]

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