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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My Mom and MIL had a lot in common in that they were both very domineering and growing up it was just easier to do what they wanted rather than risk an angry or explosive confrontation.  The problem with that is, your learned behavior is to give in to everyone, never raise an issue or learn how to stand up for yourself with anyone.

A MIL adds an extra twist as you start off wanting a good relationship, so you go along with things.  Then it becomes more and more of an issue through the years, but, once again, that pattern has now been established.

And it's a very hard pattern to break.  I've been better at than DH but it's still an issue at times.  I realize that he's in the position of ticking off his mom or aggravating me.  Since I grew up the same way and understand how hard it is to change a lifetime behavior, I'm ok with us taking it slowly, and we are (slowly- ha) getting there

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This is very much like my MIL, to the point SO just freezes. MIL explodes, screams and goes on an absolute rampage. I'm the only one who ever stands up to her. We're working on moving further away but regardless I will glad when she is no longer around.

It is the largest thorn in our marriage and the cowardice is a huge turn off. I can't trust him to defend me when it matters because he is more afraid of her than anything else.[/quote]

I would not care what so does or wants. I would leave or make anyone leave who screams and rampages. Done. I would immediately leave or insist that person leave. If it's a phone call, hang up. So can choose what she/he want to do. Do not tolerate the behavior.[/quote]

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