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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Givers and takers. People who are pushy and entitled are takers. Givers want others to be happy and give in.

It’s a gradual thing. Most normal people want to be polite, accommodating to others and feel if someone if making a huge deal out of something.it’s so important to them that they can give in. They do start saying no and no thank you after getting tired of it but then the taker will become distraught, keep badgering. The giver may decide the path of least resistance is to just give in to MIL, aunt or whomever. Takers often love drama so they will welcome a dramatic fight over their demand. Givers don’t want the drama of fighting over something stupid.

Givers eventually will have had enough and draw the boundaries. They’ll have to devote energy to constantly holding the boundaries and deal with the onslaught of manipulation. It’s a PITA and some may just decide to limit contact.[/quote]
This is the smartest thing I have ever seen on this site. I wish I knew how to deal with the manipulation without losing my cool. I have just stopped picking up my phone and stopped reading text messages. [/quote]

Same. I became aware of this dynamic through therapy and self-reflection several years ago, but still struggle with it. When people become pushy or demanding with me, it just flips a switch in me and I immediately start trying to please them. I think I was trained at such a young age that it’s just really, really hard to break that habit.

Right now the best I can do is try to avoid these people altogether. But this is hard. Sometimes I feel like they smell me coming and seek me out.[/quote]

You two falsely equate being “nice,” “good” and “giving” with being pushovers/doormats/compliant.

It’s entirely possible to be kind, generous, patient, a team player, thoughtful, etc., without rolling over and allowing people to walk all over you.

Being weak and subservient isn’t being “nice.” It’s being weak and subservient. [/quote]

and sets a very bad example for your children[/quote]

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