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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My advice to you is: do not file for divorce. Do not separate. Let him know how much he has hurt and is hurting you. Remind him that he loves his children and what the long term effects of this will be on them. If you have daughters, as him if he wants them to end up as other women vs have healthy marriages as adults. Remind him that it is never between just the parents and the children sense what’s amiss and it affects their development. Remind him that the OW by definition has low self esteem and is putting up a brave front to lure him away; and that she is much more damaged now as a result of being an AP that she was when he made her one. But don’t talk about her too much. Focus on what this will do to your life, that he swore to protect; to his professional reputation; to his integrity, and to your kids. [/quote]

Thank you. 7:16 again. I don't know what to do - I don't want to be a fool. I don't want to end things quickly but seeing my DH cry for me and cry for her is disturbing.  I don't think I'll ever have his full loyalty and trust. I fear he will always miss her and long for her, and that if he stays with me, it's just for financial stability and the kids.[/quote]

The only thing that got my husband out of his limerent EA is me saying it's her or me.  I told him I wanted no part of a relationship where he was involved romantically (physical or non-physical) with someone else.  This was someone in our small town which we had a very high chance of running into so even if he cut off contact, he could run into her at an event, the grocery store etc.  I set the boundary that he could not have a one on one conversation with her ever again.  If you give this ultimatum, you have to be willing to follow through.

It took a bit of time, but he chose me.  10 years later, he's done a complete turn around and fortunately, the OW moved to another state.  [/quote]

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