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[quote=Anonymous]This was basically my mom. In her case, yes, it's a combination of cooking being her main love language, having lived through a major famine in her youth, and her needing control. She didn't like going out to eat because she thought 99% of restaurants served subpar food with questionable hygiene. So even if we did manage to persuade her to go out to eat with us, it was usually accompanied by lots of criticism and complaining on her part.

She would spend days thinking about a menu, then many hours shopping and prepping. She was an excellent cook, though, and took pride in her craft. But most meals at her place entailed her being stuck in the kitchen and coming late to the table--there was always something in the kitchen that needed her attention.

I had always envisioned a family meal where everyone sat down together and talked and laughed. But came to realize that it would never happen with mom. She was wholly concerned with the good food aspect of meals, not the social part. The best way to deal with it was to let go. Let her have the control over one aspect of her life that she held in high importance. When she urged us to eat more of something, I'd just nod and say that yes I already had some, and then ignore. Like water off a duck's back. There's no reasoning with her, especially when she thought she's showing love and care to her family.[/quote]

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