Reply to When your spouse loves you, but is in love with someone else

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[quote=Anonymous]Sometimes there are people in our lives we never get over. That’s just the way it is. But he is here with you, now, loving you, being a good dad to your children, living a REAL life with you. His thoughts of her probably give him some escapism from the challenges of early parenthood. You guys have a lot on your plate with 3 kids and another on the way. This ex represents a fantasy of freedom, less stress, greener grass on the other side. That’s all she is— an idealized daydream.

It sounds like your DH could use counseling to help him through the pressures he is feeling and to help him get some closure on this relationship. But it also sounds like he loves you very much. Try to focus on the here and now. He is with YOU and committed to YOU. Work on building stronger bonds and try your best not to freak out. Make it safe for him to be vulnerable with you and open up to you about his feelings. Almost everyone has a “what if” person in their past. It’s okay. You will be okay.[/quote]

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