Reply to How do you find a guy worthy marrying at nearly 37?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My friend is 35, good guy, just got divorced (they just got married too young and grew apart, no kids).  He meets people online.[/quote]

Sloppy man alert. There is a reason he is divorced. Find a man who focused on career achievements vs early life marriage. No need to dumpster dive.[/quote]

PP here, far from it, my friend is very successful, in part their careers being far apart made it hard for them (I'm friends with both of them).

But hey, being judgmental is a great way to never end up with anyone.  I mean, what if they're divorced something must be wrong but if they're still single must be something wrong, so just give up?[/quote]

No offense, but unless you have been in an intimate relationship with him you don't know how he (  or she is as a partner)    there's a lot of great and successful people out there that make good friends, even great boyfrends, but terrible husbands.[/quote]

I can absolutely understand throwing out guys with kids for obvious reasons.  But a guy could be divorced in his upper 30s for plenty of reasons, some being that the wife was terrible.  To restrict that potential dating pool seems foolhardy to me.[/quote]

The pool of guys who are divorced in their late 30s just because their wife was terrible and through no fault of their own is extremly small  Trust me on this.[/quote]

Second wives are very good at convincing themselves that wife #1 was "terrible" because it makes them feel less like they are getting sloppy seconds. So I've heard this a lot.

What's funny is that most of these women should be thanking those first wives. I know a number of men who made all their stupid man mistakes in their first marriage. Then when they remarry, they understand very acutely aware of what it takes to be a good partner because the messed it up so badly the first time. I've seen this happen more than once. Some okay guy is a crappy husband to first wife, who gets fed up and dumps him, and then he suddenly gets it together for second wife when he realizes he is not capable or interesting enough to survive as a single person for long.[/quote]

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