Reply to What did your spouse's midlife crisis look like?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH took the extreme activities and multiple affairs route in his mid-to-late 40s. It started with one-night stands while traveling for business. Then he went sky diving. Then he did some ultimate driving experience with race cars.  Then he flew a plane that went really fast.

He started traveling a ton for work and graduated to multiple girlfriends around the country. Around 3-6 at a time. They got too much to juggle, so he started with the luxury escorts. $1,000 per hour. Spent $20K one summer.

Then the gambling. Hiding thousands of dollars he’s lose at casinos.

His main motivation was that he didn’t want to miss out on any life experiences. Would say you only get one chance to do this life.

[b]He’s been in therapy for years now and has done a 180. Somewhere along the way he realized he’d never find what he was looking for.  So much guilt, shame, and remorse.[/b] [/quote]

At least he snapped to!! Many of them don’t.

Reading this thread, what strikes me is how common the midlife affair with accompanying personality (negative).  It is a cliche for a reason: it is so common.

[b]You have to think about the men/women these folks are cheating with.  They are getting the a-hole, shallow, immature version.  The person at their absolute worst whose friends and families really can’t stand them at this point.  Nothing is real.  They are in some fantasy trying to fill the emptiness.[/b]

The ones with substance eventually look inside and see the blame falls on them.  That they have work to do.  If it is done, you can end up with a 2.0 version that got that out of their system, saw how destructive and hurtful it was and ultimate only made them feel worse.  They are the ones that never go there again.  It can ultimately be good for the relationship/marriage, but it is pure horror to go through.  Therapy for everyone![/quote]

So true :) ![/quote]

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