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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. there are a bunch of people who live on La-La land on this forum, and a few unnecessarily mean. the idea that a serious ilness does not have effect on marriages is a fairy tale. caring for a terminal patient is grusome, and when a diagnosis happens to a marriage that is already not going well, divorce is not uncommon. I had a family member with a terminal cancer who survived 7 years thanks to clinical trials instead of the 6 months she was given originally. she was not married or had a parner so no issue there but I got to know a little the community of people with the same ilness (they had an online support forum and met a medical congresses). being divorced was hardly uncommon unfortunatley for these patiences. I remember a young 28 woman who was about to get married and the fiance called off the wedding and left her after the woman's diagnosis.

for people who ask for proof, 
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/news/20010512/cancer-cause-divorce-women

https://medium.com/@CancerBTTB/50-percent-of-couples-break-up-during-a-cancer-diagnosis-29133893975f

and plenty of other sources.

OP, sorry for the situation, it is very hard to help a person in your wife's situation, just disregard the mean and clueless responses. in addition to her illness, the drugs she is taking, she is also having psychological problems. her therapy should be comprehensive and help her in that sense as well. I would start with talking to your doctor, and possibly her doctor if you are allowed, without her, to discuss how you can best support her. you also need support for yourself, you cannot help your wife if you are not in good mental and physical shape either.

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i would also add, based on my experience with my close relative and with friends who ended up in the same situation, that current progress in medicine have given people with a terminal diagnosis who years ago would have lived months or little more the possibity to live longer, often years. which is great obviously, but at the same time create other coallenges, especially mental challenges because these poeple are not cured, they are left for years with a terminal, hopeless diagnosist that is like a sword on their heads that can fall at any time. their lives still revolve around doctors and drugs and have constant physical problem. it is like living for years  knowing that you are on the brink of death and physically unable to do back to the old life even if the cancer is termorarily in remission. this is why physicological support of these patients is so so important. the mind can face a crisis for a short time and then overcome it, but a crises that goes on for years and will end with certain death is hard to handle[/quote]

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