Reply to "Walkaway Wife"

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Reply to ""Walkaway Wife""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's okay to leave a marriage, if it isn't what you want. Even after 20 years. Even after he tried hard to fix the problem. Sometimes it goes that way.  Be kind to him, but take care of yourself. You don't have to stay for him. [/quote]
Thank you. I am very concerned about hurting him and feel that that urge may be getting in the way of identifying and communicating what I think I want. He’s come a long enough way that he has requested that I be as direct with him as possible and not worry about sparing his feelings, and while I’ve otherwise done that I am really afraid that if I say I want to leave that it will be the wrong choice because of how far we’ve come. Like maybe if I give it a few more months, a year, etc then something will change in me. [/quote]

Could there be deeper anger and resentment op that you are distancing from? You say you are concerned about hurting him but deep down is it possible that maybe you want to hurt him? Maybe you are holding yourself back from trusting him, like the article said...and maybe you need more time This would be understandable...he hurt you. You both sound so rational (intellectualized). Emotionally is your connection a live one? Is there emotional aliveness in some moments, whether tears, anger, sadness? If not can you talk about it? Was it thete once but now is not? I can't get a full read on your relationship. It sounds like you hold back saying hard things but honestly  at this point...now is the time for you both to be brutally honest, with the help of your therapist. That's where breakthroughs happen I think. [/quote]

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